Di makatulog sa kakaisip sa kanya? Puro poster ng mukha niya ang kwarto mo? Pangalan niya ang bukambibig mo? Siya parati ang naiisip mo?
In love ka na ba? Akala mo lang yon. One way to find out. Sagutan ang Exam na ito para malaman kung certified in-love ka na nga.
Part 1. TRUE or FALSE
1. Paggising ko sa umaga, lagi ko siyang tinitext ng "good morning. :-*"
2. At any random time of the day, tinitext ko siya ng "miss na kita."
3. Kahit hindi sa "A" nagsisimula ang pangalan niya, siya pa rin ang unang pangalan sa address book ko.
4. Kung may 2 ticket ako sa concert ng Eraserheads, siya ang isasama ko.
5. Naimagine ko na ang wedding day namin.
6. May pangalan na ang una naming anak.
7. Lahat ng kantang naririnig ko sa radyo, tungkol sa kanya. (ultimo kanta ni Lito Camo)
8. Nakangiti ako pag natutulog.
9. Dati ayaw ko sa Air Supply, ngayon, fan na ako.
10. Picture niya ang wall paper ko.
11. Lagi akong may cheesy status sa YM.
12. Nagbabasa na ako ng Norah Roberts at Sidney Sheldon.
13. Lagi kong chinicheck ang horoscope naming dalawa.
14. Bumili na ako ng sun cellular dahil may sun din siya.
15. Alam ko ang class schedule niya.
16. Bumili ako ng SLR at nagpapanggap akong photo hobbyist para lang may excuse ako na picturan siya.
17. Hindi ko siya matitigan sa mata for more than 3 seconds.
19. Napatawag na ako ng Dean dahil pangalan niya ang naisulat ko sa test paper ko.
20. Pag nagtext siya ng "K :)" masisiraan ako ng bait at guguluhin ko ang bestfriend ko para tanungin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng text niya.
21. Puno ang inbox ko ng puro "k" na text niya sa akin.
22. Ang status ko sa friendster at facebook ay "It's complicated"
23. Natatae ako pag nakikita ko siyang may kasamang iba.
24. Natuto akong gumawa ng epic poetry dahil gusto ko siyang bigyan ng tula araw-araw.
25. Nakatulala ako for at least 3 hours (commulative) sa isang araw
Part 2. ENUMERATION
1. Cellphone number, facebook, ym, multiply, landline, at email address niya (without looking at the address book)
2. Pangalan ng lahat ng kapatid, magulang, lolo't lola, pinsan, barkada pati pets
3. Limang walang kwentang bagay sa mundo na biglang nagkaroon ng meaning dahil naaalala ko siya pag nakikita ko.
4. Pangalan ng mga naging ex boyfriend at crushes niya (pati celebrity crushes)
5. Lahat ng favorite songs niya
Part 3. MULTIPLE CHOICE
1. Pag papalapit siya sa akin, ang una kong ginagawa ay...
a. Kunwari may ka-text o kausap ako sa celphone para hindi kami magkatinginan agad
b. Aalis bigla, kunwari nagmamadali papunta sa kung saan
c. Tutulala
d. all of the above
2. Pag nagtext siya ng tanong, nagrereply ako ng...
a. :-)
b. "ano sa tingin mu?"
c. kahit ano basta tanong din para hindi matapos ang pagtitext namin sa isa't isa
d. magtetext ako ng kaibigan para tanungin kung ano ang irereply ko
3. Pag tumawag ako sa bahay nila at tinanong ng maid kung sino nasa linya, ang sagot ko ay...
a. yung coolest nick name ko kahit hindi iyon ang tawag niya sa akin
b. "si pogi"
c. "pakisabi, yung crush niya"
d. Denny Crane
4. Pag tinanong niya: "sino ba 'yang crush mo?" Ang sagot ko ay...
a. sikret
b. kilalang-kilala mo siya
c. wala akong crush noh!
d. ikaw na lang, kawawa ka naman, walang may crush sayo e
5. Pag niyaya ka niyang magsine, ang pipiliin mong panoorin ay...
a. Romantic Comedy
b. Horror
c. Art film
d. dvd na lang sa bahay, gusto mo?
6. Nagseselos ako sa...
a. bestfriend niya of the opposite sex
b. ex niya
c. yung stuffed toy niya
d. lahat ng taong dumikit sa kanya kahit ung guard na laging bumabati sa kanya ng good morning.
7. Lagi kong nakikita ang mukha niya sa...
a. TV
b. sa kisame ko pag nakahiga ako sa kama
c. sa kawalan
d. sa panaginip
8. Nabigyan ko na siya ng...
a. blue rose
b. red rose
c. stuffed toys
d. century tuna
9. Nacheck ko na ang compatibility charts namin sa...
a. horoscope
b. chinese zodiac
c. numerology, palmistry, at baraha
d. FLAMES
10. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait sabi ng
a. best friend ko
b. barkada, kaklase, officemate, roommate ko
c. nanay ko
d. lahat sila
Part 4. ESSAY
Ano'ng meron sa kanya na wala sa iba kaya siya na nga ang "the one."
This
work by
Juan Ekis is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Philippines License.
Based on a work at
juanekis.blogspot.com.
For the first time in my life, I learned to hate.
I always imagined hate as something that is equally passionate as love—passionate anger, passionate bitterness, passionate desire for revenge, passionate ill will. Hate was angst and rage precipitating into tears, condensing into sweat and blood, transforming into physical violence unto the self and the other. Hate was death by torture, the atomic bomb at Hiroshima, the gas chambers of the ghettos, the dagger of Hamlet and the knife of Cain.
It wasn’t. It isn’t.
It’s much simpler than that.
Of course in the beginning, it may have started from a hint of bitterness. Bitterness is nursed by anger and frustration. This grows into a rage over time and eventually. The heaviness of your heart will tire you and cause your soul to die and lie on the sea of infinite angst.
But you ask yourself, where did the bitterness come from? Bitterness is the inability of man to see beauty in things. He develops this sense of taste when he has grown accustomed to disappointment, rejection, denial, and frustration.
* * *
I cannot remember exactly when I started to hate her. I only came to realize now that I actually have grown this monster inside me as I tired to breathe in the thick impure air of Pearl Drive at midnight. I was contemplating my unfinished play. Finally, I discovered what it was about.
It would be my dissertation on hatred. The story becomes clearer to me now. The protagonist, Leon, could not finish his play—which he claims to the best play he would have ever written. He could not finish it because he is full of hatred. I have known this for a long time. I do not understant why I hadn’t thought of it before. Maybe because from the moment of conception of this play, I hated it. And so, I couldn’t finish it.
A few months ago, I started writing the play which would be the best piece I would have ever written. The play turned out to be my worst, despite my best efforts. Now, I think, I am starting to understand.
My writing, my art, has been my wife, my passion, my life, my true love. Nothing could take me away from it. Not even the promise of a comfortable life. Ever since, I believed that one cannot produce true art without Love. Love is the necessary condition for the creation of art.
That was the reason I could not finish that play—the play I decided to call my best, my coup de gras, my masterpiece. I could not write it because I hated it from the moment of its conception.
I hated it because I fell in love with someone else. I fell in love with her.
I still couldn’t figure out why they had to be mutually exclusive. This is something I will have to meditate upon some more. But for now, suffice it to say that for some unexplainable reason, in order to love one, one had to hate the other. There had to be that binary opposite—something like loving virtue and hating sin, or the other way around.
But now, I think I am ready to finish that play. Because now I realized, I have come to hate her.
* * *
Hatred is the death of the soul. There is a sense of peace in it. But this peace is the peace of emptiness. It is not the pleace of universal harmony or organic unity. It is the peace of a vacuum—the peace of nothingness.
Now that I think about it, hatred is not really something that is directed towards the other. True hatred is self-destruction. Not the violence of destroying existence but the dead silence that comes afterwards. Hatred can only be directed to the self. Because when one hates, one murders his soul.
How?
If hatred were the binary opposite of love, and loving is giving one’s self without expecting anything in return, then hatred is giving nothing. Since it is natural for man to give himself out—to share himself (as his creator shares his Being with him), the act of hating is the deliberate emptying of the self so that he cannot give anything to anyone. Hate incapacitates man to share himself. And so hate reduces man to nothingness—a state worse than being evil.
Now it is interesting to note that Love and Hate have similar roots. Or, to me, love and hate have the same mathematical representation—ZERO.
Love is the emptying of the self in order to share—thus the person is reduced to being ZERO. Because one has given his entirety to another. Hate is similar. Hate is the emptying of the self so as not to be able to share anything. And so again, the person is reduced to being Zero—nothing.
The only difference is that in Love, by giving everything, you are transformed into something more because it is given back to you eventually, in one way or another. True love is always rewarded. In hate, existence is negated. Nature is destroyed. I wish I took my calculus seriously so that I can expound on this further. This could be the material for the other plat I am working on (ZERO).
* * *
This is tiring.
Wonder if I made sense…
